Screwed.edu
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
