her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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