i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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