Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
whose parrot is this?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
