I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
