I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
