When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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