I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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