Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize