I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize