I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
