We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
