he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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