my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He? As in you personified your dick?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize