no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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