You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
