Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
