I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
