is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
