Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
