I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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