i always forget guys have bellybuttons
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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