he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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