Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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