I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
