so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
