Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
