I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
