You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
