last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
