so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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