Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
