Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
