If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The beer is more important than you right now.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize
