chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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