used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i now understand why vodka
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
