she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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