Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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