i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if you like me you must not know who I am
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
