She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
