do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Randomize
