I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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