The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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