Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
