Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
