he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize