Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
