so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
