i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
