Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
