I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Randomize
