a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We are all done wearing pants today
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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