i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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