we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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