Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
