dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All the doctor said was why
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
