it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
