i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
