So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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