Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
