please come you make the beer taste better
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
